


Kinkshaming

by rainingcatsandkisses



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: This is a crack fic, don't expect anything from it, it was a prompt and i'm not sorry, slight Niam????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6391657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainingcatsandkisses/pseuds/rainingcatsandkisses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry goes to the supermarket</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kinkshaming

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raisingcanes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raisingcanes/gifts).



> i'm so so so so so so sorry

Just your average day at the local supermarket. Harry Styles waves to the lovely old lady that sits on the curb every day, crocheting socks and scarves. She grins back at him, wide and terrifying, and Harry’s hand stalls. He quickly rushes through the doors, pausing to take in the smell of fresh groceries. His head swivels to the fresh produce section, the enticing scent of bananas calling to him. Striding over to the banana section, he forgoes the pre-placed bags and picks up as many bananas as he can in his abnormally large hands. Looking around, he sees no employees and no cameras, and makes a beeline for the exit. Yes, Harry Styles did just steal a bunch of bananas.

            Legs almost giving out, Harry finally arrives at the big house he shared with four other men. He kicks his shoes off at the door, bananas still in his hands, and spies a pair of boxers on the ground. Louis peeks his head  around the kitchen, pointedly staring at the bananas in Harry’s hands.

            “Whose are these?” Harry asks, nodding to the pair of boxers on the floor. Louis blushes.

            “Yours mate, from last night.” Harry cringes. “Or Niall’s. It’s hard to tell whose boxers are whose when we’re all gay and screwing each other.”

            Harry nods. “That makes sense.” Louis looks again at the bananas. “What is it Louis.”

            Louis laughs. “Gee whiz Harry I bet you can’t shove all those bananas up your ass.”

            “You’re right,” Harry says, dropping the bananas. All of a sudden Niall appears from the living room, crying.

            “Niall what’s wrong?” Louis cries, rushing into the kitchen to grab their emergency anti-tears nandos chicken.

            “It’s okay Louis I’ve got one mate!” Niall blubbers as he pulls it out of his pocket. Louis rushes back in, and both men hold hands and watch the tears slowly trickle to a stop as Niall continues to eat his emergency anti-tear nandos chicken.

            “Oh boy that’s a relief,” says Harry. “Where are Liam and Zayn?”

            “Probably fucking” says Niall, bursting into tears again. A loud boom sounds and suddenly Niall, Louis, and Harry are bathed in a golden light.

            “You are correct!” Shouts Zayn as he descends from the sky in a shower of sparkles. Niall sobs again.

            “No he’s not don’t listen to him Nialler.” Liam falls much more slowly, in a curtain of rainbows and cute puppies.

            “They are angels from heaven,” Louis whispers into Harry’s ear.

            “My father was an angel.” Harry says. “Are you my daddy?”

            Liam and Zayn recoil in horror.

            “No son,” says Liam, and they grasp him by his arms and take him to heaven, where he is burned at the stake, as it is the heaven’s form of kinkshaming.


End file.
